a conversation within myself
x

why do you hate it? isn't it the same thing you've been saying for years, just from someone else's mouth this time?

yeah, it is.

so why do you?

i don't know, leave me alone.

oh come on, there's a reason for everything.

then, like, i don't know. maybe i don't like it because it feels wrong.

wrong.

yes, it feels wrong.

well why is it wrong?

i don't know, leave me alone.

oh come on, there's everything for a reason.

no there isn't, i don't know why i hate it. it just feels wrong. or something. i don't know. it probably doesn't even feel wrong at all.

then why would you say it does?

i don't know, leave me alone.

oh come on, everything there's a reason for.

i don't hate it then, it's just. it feels weird.

uncomfortable then?

yes, actually. it makes me uncomfortable.

well art is supposed to make you uncomfortable. that's what it's for. that's how you know it's good art.

that's true.

that's why it makes you want to keep looking at it. it's meant to evoke a feeling. a feeling that makes you want to keep looking at it and continue the uncomfortable. the uncomfortable is what makes you human, isn't it.

no.

no?

i disagree. art is not always supposed to make you uncomfortable. it shouldn't always make you uncomfortable. that's propaganda. if the feeling it evokes is something that makes you want to rise up and keep looking, that's not a feeling at all. that's consumerist.

being consumerist is that of consuming the content in front of you mindlessly, wanting more needlessly.

yes, that's what you're saying art is.

it isn't.

art is meant to evoke a feeling, you're correct. but not all the feelings are meant to be that of hurt, of unsatisfaction, of hate. not all art is meant to create animosity. there are some that are meant to spread joy, comfort, generosity. art is meant to be loved. art is meant to love.

so why do you hate it, then?

i hate what i can't have.